A Thousand Steps

‘A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step’ Lao Tzu I want to write a novel – it’s a daunting task. I need about a hundred thousand words. If I sit down and work out how long it will take me if I write 500 words, 5 days a week, I will be totally fazed and consider it impossible. So, what do I do? I write the first word and then the next. Well – that’s the theory! Don’t get me wrong, there’s a plan. I more or less know where I am going but I…

Read more...

Who controls your emotions?

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions?  Do you know that we do things in order to change the way we feel?  Think of eating that bar of chocolate or drinking that G&T – why are we doing it?  Are we doing it to change the way we are feeling?  Maybe to calm us down, to cheer us up or to make us feel better?   Sometimes we go shopping to reward ourselves or to cheer ourselves up.  All the time that we self-medicate with our chosen ‘drug’ we are letting our emotions control us.  But actually…

Read more...

Are you grateful?

According to Melody Beattie –   ‘Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow ‘   Melody Beattie has had a number of big challenges in her life and has gone on to write many inspirational books.  One of her main points is the benefit that we could all gain from identifying things in our life that we are grateful for.  This can be tricky.  Some of us get ill, lose our jobs, lose close friends and relatives.  Sometimes it’s really hard to find something to feel positive and upbeat about and certainly nothing to feel grateful…

Read more...

The four components of real teams

Working with organisations trying to motivate and level-up their teams, I would often ask the all important question: “Are you a group or are you a team?” I’m often met with a question in return: “What do you mean?” or “What’s the difference?” The difference could not be more profound. A group of talented individuals, who are not really a team, will never perform as well, in the long run, as less talented individuals functioning as a team. A good example of this would be national football teams. The logic in assembling national teams is often that if we pick the best players from…

Read more...

Child engagement

It’s the time of year when parents across the country collectively exhale and reflect on a busy summer.   For some it has been a summer filled with fun, laughter and adventures.   For others it’s been a stressful time, trying to juggle childcare and work and never quite pleasing everyone or indeed anyone. I find myself in the former group and I felt somewhat deflated after taking my children to their respective classes.   One of them approached with enthusiasm and the other one was quite the opposite! Our summer has been filled with very little structure; we spent time together in…

Read more...

Motivational Mapping for Children

I have often wondered what on earth made my children do what they did.  But they are all grown up now and have careers and children and do adult things.  When they were little they were often a bit of a mystery.  I did try to work it out.  I thought ‘well this one keeps taking his bike apart, he must like practical things’.  Then I had one who drifted and day dreamed, I guessed he would meander through life and his older brother was diligent and followed his Dad’s footsteps.  That’s the boys.  Now my daughter is a different kettle of fish altogether.  She was…

Read more...

What’s stopping you?

Have you been thinking of taking up a new career?  Maybe there is something exciting that you have always wanted to do but for one reason or another you have never quite got round to it. Do you have a small voice in the back of your head telling you why it won’t work?  Perhaps you are afraid?    Here’s some good news for you.  There are a couple of things that you can do today that will make a real difference.    First of all, book onto a course that will really help.  Find out what motivates you and from that learn to…

Read more...

Anxiety, a client’s perspective

OK – so you reckon I’m not really anxious? What about that worry I have that I might not be able to pay my mortgage next month? I feel pretty anxious about that. And I think that my best friend is really cross with me – I feel anxious about that. In fact, I feel uptight and stressed. Its all very well but actually……. Wow, just slow down. This is how I used to feel much of the time. Until, that is, I learnt how to get on top of these thoughts. Because that’s all they are; thoughts. My anxiety…

Read more...

Beliefs

‘Our beliefs strongly influence our behaviour’ (‘Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming’ Connor & Seymour)  – a really strong statement.  A quick example – if you believe that you can’t sing then you are most unlikely to consider joining a choir.    So why do we have beliefs?  Our belief system is how we make sense of our world.  We believe in the laws of nature, we know that we can’t step off tall buildings and survive, we know that fire burns and that night follows day.  We learn these things as we grow up but we also learn beliefs that shape our lives.  Our parents…

Read more...

Running on empty

When you think of caring, who do you think of?  Probably not yourself.  We have a huge tendency to look after everyone else and then what happens?  We forget to look after ourselves.  Imagine if you went to see a doctor and he was dripping blood from an open wound – I guess you would suggest that he sorted himself out before he came near you.  And that’s what we all need to do.  We can’t help others from a place of pain and hurt, from a place of emptiness.  The skill lies in finding ways to make ourselves whole and…

Read more...