When you think of caring, who do you think of? Probably not yourself. We have a huge tendency to look after everyone else and then what happens? We forget to look after ourselves.
Imagine if you went to see a doctor and he was dripping blood from an open wound – I guess you would suggest that he sorted himself out before he came near you. And that’s what we all need to do. We can’t help others from a place of pain and hurt, from a place of emptiness. The skill lies in finding ways to make ourselves whole and robust so that we can help others.
How do you know if you need a bit of help yourself? Think first of the bodily manifestations. Are you grabbing high sugar food at random times? How is your sleep going? Is it disturbed and far too short? And how about your stress levels? Are you snappy and liable to fly off the handle?
Think, too, of your sense of self, how is your self-esteem? Are you constantly doubting yourself and wondering if anyone really likes you? Perhaps you think you are unpopular and then look for all sort of signs that confirm this. Do you always put yourself at the bottom of the heap; never quite getting round to reading that book, listening to that new piece of music or just pausing to meditate.
These are all signs that you are running on empty; that you’re not nourishing yourself. Maybe you’re not getting enough ‘down time’. Possibly you are not allocating time to do things that make you feel happy, content and whole. If you are not replenishing yourself then there will be nothing inside you to give to others.
If any of this sounds a bit like you it could well be time to take action! It could well be time to find out why you behave like this and what you might do differently. This is where NLP coaching can really help.
The four main stages of this type of coaching are important and interesting. First it’s about gaining clarity on what you would like to achieve. It might be more down time and more opportunities for replenishment. The next stage finding out and understanding what it is that is holding you back from achieving your goals. So why do you long to have a better relationship at home or at work but struggle to make the necessary changes? Think how good it would be to discover why you never ‘allow’ yourself a bit of downtime.
Getting down to the ‘nitty gritty’ the next stage is learning how to use techniques to achieve your goals. And of course, that last stage is getting out there and seeing that you can make these changes. That you can look after yourself and then look after others in the way that you really want to. Imagine how exciting it would be to get a really great balance in your life. It can be done and NLP has all the tools and techniques to make this possible.